On Pregnancy

I've been meaning to write about my pregnancy for a while but have not found the time until now. Yes I'm pregnant, as I have probably mentioned before in this blog or another. Wait, let me rephrase that. WE'RE pregnant - Leo and I. Hehehe, I do love saying that. This is not just my baby after all. And even though it may sometimes seem that it's only the mother who is "suffering" the hardships of pregnancy (and I must admit that I've said this once or twice), that is just not true. Our being pregnant changed (and is still changing) our lives and we're both adjusting to these changes. However, since I'm the one writing this entry, you'll read more of what I've been experiencing and less of Leo's.

Let me first say that being pregnant is not what I expected it to be. I guess it's something that you really have to experience firsthand to fully understand. I honestly thought it would be a breeze for me. Boy, was I wrong! But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning...

Ofcourse the first thing that I experienced was the joy of knowing that I'm gonna be a mommy. We've been waiting to be pregnant since honeymoon. With so many teenage pregnancies nowadays, you'd think it was easy, right? But it isn't. I was really disappointed that first month when I found out I wasn't pregnant. By the second month I was scared I wasn't ever gonna be because of my age. Come third month we were not expecting much - and then we were blessed. I knew almost immediately that I was pregnant. 4 days delayed and I knew. I wasn't even one of those super regulars, but I knew there was something different with me. I was bugging everyone to buy me those home pregnancy tests - Leo, my mom, my sister - but they were just laughing at me. They said it was too soon. Well, I was able to convince Leo to buy one and, as I've said, I knew.

As I've mentioned above, pregnancy wasn't (and still isn't) easy for me. I spent my first trimester mostly in bed. We had to stay at my parents house so that someone could take care of me while Leo was at work. I had spotting and stomach cramping, and my 12-week ultrasound showed subchorionic hemorrhage - whatever that is. I had to drink all sorts of medicine - one of which gave me migraines as side effect. I couldn't even take pain killers! The rest of the pills just made me gag :(

If you think pregnant women eat and eat all the time, you're wrong. It was quite the opposite for me, actually. I couldn't eat at all. During my first trimester my taste buds got so skewed, nothing tasted right. Everything was bitter and I couldn't hold anything down. It got so bad I even lost weight! It didn't help that my sense of smell also got affected - like it was enhanced or something. The smell of perfume, leo's deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, garlic, and almost all fragrant stuff made me (and still does) run to the bathroom and blow. I also had constipation, motion sickness and leg cramps. And you know what's funny? I get all weepy all the time! Honestly I do! And it's not just getting teary-eyed or there's-something-in-my-eye crying. A lot of times it was the crying-my-heart-out, puffy-eyes-and-nose, hiccup-generating bawling! I cry about everything - work, money, frustrations, self-pity... even at movies, MTVs and commercials! How funny is that? Of course I didn't find it funny at the time I was doing it ;)

Well, we are now on our second trimester and some things got better, while some are still the same. My taste buds are better now, though I still can't eat much because of a whole new reason I'll tell you later. Gagging was lessened but far from gone. Dizziness lessened - although I thought I was going to faint a couple of times this month. I had spotting again last week but the doctor said that baby is fine. If it happens again I might go back to bedrest, and I don't really want that :(

Anyhoo, something new during the 2nd trimester and the reason why I'm not eating much again... I'm not sure yet and the doctors are still checking, but right now I'm thinking it's heartburn. It started last week. It is this burning pain I feel on my back and chest, and it worsens during night time. There were times it got so bad I almost had Leo run me to the hospital in the middle of the night. When I yawn or sneeze or burp, it feels like my torso is enclosed in a steel cage and my chest is bursting. Anyhoo, I'm having another ultrasound tomorrow and hopefully my doctors will find out for sure what's causing the pain.

Ok, so I've been telling you a lot about the discomforts I've been feeling. What about my pregnancy highs? Well there is the new wardrobe and the pampering and vacation from work. But the 2 really, really best things that make my day, my week and my month are the ultrasounds and my baby's kicks. Watching her there inside of me. Seeing her grow from a peanut to a fiesty little angel. Seeing her little feet and toes and hands and fingers. Watching and hearing her heartbeat. Then feeling her move inside of me. At first it was just a flutter, like butterflies in your tummy or very light nudges. People were telling me it was too soon for me to feel her. I've been feeling her as early as the 4th month. They thought it was just my imagination. But then Leo started feeling her too during the latter part of that month. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling! Knowing she's alive and healthy. Feeling her grow stronger everyday. These past few days it seems that she's doing gymnastics inside my tummy! Hehehe, I'm really happy that she's strong.

Everybody's saying I'm going to have post partum because of all the weeping I've been doing now. But I honestly can't imagine not being filled with joy when my baby's here. I love her already, and just the thought of her fills my eyes with happy tears. She'll be so loved! Not just by Leo and me, but by her grandparents and aunt and uncle too! Just hope they wouldn't spoil her - atleast not to much, hehehe.

All in all, I'm happy. I may feel wretched a lot of times due to these pregnancy discomforts, but she's so worth it. I'm so thankful to God for blessing us with her.